Iraq: The musical
by Wonko the Sane
Summary: We don't care about "motives," War is stupid and we make fun of it! ((Please read in good humor only or DO NOT READ AT ALL!))
1. Saddam's start

A/n: This is a parody of "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast. I do not own president bush, the United States, Iraq, my friends, Disney, or Saddam. But if I did own these things, they couldn't sue me! Kee hee hee!  
  
Saddam: Little town, it's a peasant village. Ev'ry man, really sick and  
poor. Little town, full of little peasants. Waking up to say.  
Peasants: Help me! Help me! Oh please, Allah, save me! Saddam: There goes my army in their tanks, like always. With plans to burn and roast and kill. Ev'ry morning just the same, since the morning that I  
came the leader of this town.  
Peasant: Morning, Saddam!  
  
Saddam: Morning, Peasant!  
  
Peasant: Where are you off to?  
Saddam: The weapon shop. I just finished this WONDERFUL weapon. It had  
fire, and explosions, and.  
Peasant: Yes, that's very nice. Marie! Hide the rockets! Hurry up!  
Peasants: Look, there he goes, that man is bad, no question. Cruel and  
sadistic, can't you tell? Never part of any crowd. Cause he likes the  
mushroom clouds. No denying he's an evil man, Saddam.  
Peasant 1: Hello! Good day! How is the famine?  
Peasant 2: Hello! Good day! How are your lice?  
Peasant 3: I need six cents!  
Peasant 4: That's too expensive!  
Saddam: There must be more than ruling peasants' lives!  
Shopowner peasant: Ahh, Saddam.  
Saddam: Good morning! I've come to return the bomb I borrowed.  
  
Shopowner: You've finished already?  
  
Saddam: Oh, I couldn't put it down! You got anything new?  
Shopowner: Ha ha! Not since '73!  
Saddam: That's okay. Then I'll take..this one.  
  
Shopowner: That one? But you've used it twice!  
  
Saddam: Well it's my favorite! Large explosions, screaming peasants,  
nuclear wastelands!  
  
Shopowner: If you like it so much, it's yours.  
  
Saddam: Really?  
  
Shopowner: I insist!  
  
Saddam: Well, thank you! With this I'll kill a bunch!  
Peasants: Look there he goes, that man is so conniving, I think he'll probably burn in hell. With an evil, twisted look, and bomb that's probably  
a nuke. He's a danger to the rest of us, Saddam.  
Saddam: Oh, isn't this so frightening? It's my favorite bomb, because you'll see. Here's where I push the button and then flames erupt form the  
ground all around me! Peasant: Now it's no wonder that he's slightly crazy. His mother dropped him on his head. But behind that scary face, I'm afraid he's rather odd. He's different from the rest of us. He doesn't like the rest of us, he'll  
kill off all the rest of us, Saddam! ((Back in white house, Bush is throwing darts at a live Bin Laden, missing  
BADLY)) Intern: Wow, you didn't hit him once, Mr. Bush! You're the greatest Texan  
in the world! ((OR: You're just like every other Texan in the world!))  
Bush: I know.  
  
Intern: No terrorist alive stands a chance against you. Ha ha ha! Or Al  
Gore, for that matter. Bush: It's true, umm..you. And I've got my sights set on that one! ((points  
to TV))  
  
Intern: The peasant leader?  
Bush: Yes, he's the one. The lucky Muslim I'm going to kill!  
Intern: But he's.  
Bush: The most EVIL man on earth?  
Intern: I know, but.  
Bush: THAT signs him to death. And don't I deserve to GIVE the death?  
Intern: Well, of course! I mean, you do, but. Bush: Right from the moment when dad met him, fought him, I said he's evil and I swear, that on earth there's only he, who is evil as can be. So I'm  
making plans to sue and kill Saddam  
((People rush about while Bush pantomimes phone conversation))  
Saddam: There must be more than ruling peasants' lives!  
  
Bush: Just watch, I'm going to make Saddam ignite!  
Peasants: Look there he goes, that man is psychopathic. A most peculiar man, I swear. It's a pity and a sin; he's going to do us in. He really is a funny man, a strange and evil funny man, a scary and a funny man-Saddam! 


	2. Bush's resolution

A/n: I don't own President Bush, Iraq, the US, Saddam, Disney, yadda yadda. I don't won these things because Disney already had it all! CURSE YOU!  
  
Bush:  
  
Let's get down to business, to defeat.Iraq!  
I don't like their turbans, so we will.attack!  
They're the meanest bunch I've ever met,  
But you can bet, before we're through.  
Muslims, I'll.beat Saddam.out of you!  
Sneaky little terrorists,  
They've got nukes.hidden.  
Once we bomb your center,  
You will sure.give in!  
You're a spineless, evil, peasant man,  
And there's no one helping you.  
Muslims, I'll.beat Saddam.out of you!  
Terrorists:  
We're never gonna live through this!  
Say good-bye to those who knew me!  
Why was I a fool for trusting in him?  
This guy's got me scared to death!  
Hope he doesn't even see me!  
Now I really wish that I had done him in!  
US military:  
THEN IRAN!  
Bush:  
We must be swift or we will feel pain!  
Military:  
THEN IRAN!  
Bush:  
With all the force of a great air raid!  
Military:  
THEN IRAN!  
Bush:  
They have the strength of a raging hobo!  
With Evilness like the inside of balloons!  
Time is racing towards us!  
Till Saddam.attacks!  
Heed my every warning,  
And you will, survive!  
France is wimpy for  
Protesting war.  
So get out,  
We all hate you!  
I can beat.that Saddam.without you!  
US military:  
THEN IRAN!  
Bush:  
We must be swift or we will feel pain!  
Military:  
THEN IRAN!  
Bush:  
With all the force of a great air raid!  
Military:  
THEN IRAN!  
Bush:  
They have the strength of a raging hobo!  
With Evilness like the inside of balloons!  
US military:  
THEN IRAN!  
Bush:  
We must be swift or we will feel pain!  
Military:  
THEN IRAN!  
Bush:  
With all the force of a great air raid!  
Military:  
THEN IRAN!  
Bush:  
They have the strength of a raging hobo!  
With Evilness like the inside of balloons! 


	3. Bush's dream

((A/N: Yippee! More chapter uploadage. I might actually FINISH this story because I love sitting around my room and singing these songs.for those of you who have written musicals before, kudos to you. For those of you that haven't, you have no idea what having songs from a musical you're writing stuck in your brain is like. And I envy you. I envy you like..like. a guy.who envies things. Anyways, I don't actually own any of this crap, Disney, Microsoft, ..wait! I DO own something! *huggles puppy* MINE! O.O .yeah. This is a parody of "part of your world" from little mermaid. Whoo hoo. I know it seems like a lot of these are pre-war stuff, but honestly, how long did the war LAST? Just wait until I can upload the dialogue. My friend is writing all of that. I'm in charge of making parodies. We're actually planning on filming this, maybe we can have it online. As long as you people don't tell the government..or Disney ((is that the same thing?)) and get us sued. Enough rant! SING!))  
  
Bush: Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my  
collection's complete? Wouldn't you think I've got all, because I'm the  
president? Look at this trove, weapons untold. How many dangers can one silo hold? Lookin' around here you'd think, "Sure, he's got everything!"  
I've got warheads and missiles aplenty. I've got warplanes and bombers galore. You want bunker busters? I've got 20. But who cares? No big deal. I  
want more!  
  
I wanna own where the Muslims are. I wanna see, wanna see 'em dancin! Heads  
wrapped up in those...(What do they call 'em? Oh, turbans.) Bein' real nice, it won't get me far. War is required for my entertainment! On every  
channel of...(what's that word again...?) TV!  
  
Down where they walk, down where they run, down where they kill themselves  
for Al-lah! Laughin' with glee, I'm gonna be, bombin' their world! What would I give, if I could have most of the world? What would I pay, to go to war against Iran? Bet I'd make them understand, that they don't cover up their daughters. Muslim women, sick of hiding, ready to live! And ready to  
show what they've got to show. I'd ask 'em some questions and get some  
answers! What's a turban and where is (who's that guy...) SADDAM?  
  
When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, love to make Saddam's house ex-plode!  
  
Laughin' with glee....I'm gonna be....bombin' their world! 


End file.
